Preparing for a family meeting

Although many families don’t discuss financial planning, this important topic should be addressed, especially for those who have an aging family member or one with a disability or special needs.  

Tips and tools to set up an effective family meeting

Keeping family members informed of care plans and working together on future planning can ensure that quality of life is maintained. Family meetings may help this process. A family meeting can be originated by either the family member who currently is receiving care or who will need care in the future or by the caregivers and can be an ideal vehicle to:

• Communicate the agreed-upon plan to the support network of family and friends to ensure their loved one’s quality of life is maintained in the future, and 
• Enlist support for the details of current and future plans in place for the loved one, including financial, medical, residential and social needs, and required daily support.

To ensure an effective family meeting, follow three steps before, during and after the attendees gather:

1. Before, be sure to plan 
2. During, be prepared to take the lead, and 
3. After, communicate next steps

1) Before the meeting

Start with identifying the attendees; be sure to include the people who are or may be involved in the future care.  

• Advanced preparation ensures a smooth meeting: Reach out to family members for their suggested input and put together an agenda or a list of discussion topics. 
• Send it out in advance and encourage people to come prepared to discuss the important items. This list also can help keep the meeting on track to make sure all subjects can be discussed in the time allotted.

This checklist can help in the preparation of an agenda. It shows a sample of topics that may need to be covered in the family meeting. Depending on how advanced the planning process is, many of these items may already be taken care of, while others may need to be addressed at a later time.  

2) During the meeting

While sending out the agenda in advance can help prepare the attendees, there may be hesitation to address some of these difficult topics. Let attendees know that all of their opinions and emotions will be acknowledged and respected. Encourage family members to share feelings about what will happen in the future. Have discussion-starters prepared to begin the conversation and get people speaking honestly, while still covering the agenda topics. Topics that have proven to be effective include: 

• Discuss who will be the future caregivers and guardians and what their responsibilities will be.
• Identify what support, if any, will be necessary, such as household duties, chores and emotional support.
• Define future goals for residential, social and lifestyle arrangements, family traditions and religious practices to get people talking.

Be sure to include the loved one in the discussion to determine their needs and wants, if possible.

3) After the meeting

Ideally, at the end of the family meeting, the discussion has led to some decisions. 

• Send agreed-upon decisions to family members or caregivers who attended, as well as those who were not able to attend.
• Act on the decisions made to either begin a plan or update the one already in place.
• In addition to the plan, another tool that may be helpful is a Letter of Intent to provide detailed instructions on the day-to-day activities of the loved one. 
• Begin planning annual follow-up family meetings and topics of discussion, as plans will need to be updated and changed as the family’s situation changes.

As simple as this 3-step process may sound, family relationships may be strained, and a family meeting can’t magically solve all the challenges of planning for the care of a family member. But remember that time can be of the essence. Whatever work can be done together earlier will help at times of crisis or extreme stress. If family caregivers are employed, look for employee benefits that may provide support, like employee assistance programs and caregiver concierge services.

Voya Cares also can help get the process started as early as possible. Go to voyacares.com to learn more.

See the video that outlines these steps to set up an effective family meeting.

Download your copy of our family meeting checklist.